04 Sep 1 Month with Maverik

Happy 1 month to Maverik! The first month flew by so quickly, and honestly it feels even faster than it did with Katerina. I think it has a lot to do with my mental state this time around and the amount of help we’re getting. I haven’t experienced any real lows or crying spells yet. Family has been helping by bringing us meals, so I feel more nourished—and more human—than before. Yes, it’s still tiring and hard to wake up every 2–3 hours to feed him while also pumping so frequently. The nights feel long. But I’m so proud that Erik and I survived the first month!

Measurement-wise, he is now 9 lb 5.8 oz (37th percentile) and 21.85 inches (69th percentile). He’s pretty average size boy, but I’m so happy to see his weight gain! Because he’s been exclusively on my breastmilk so far, I knew I would probably blame myself if he wasn’t gaining properly. So, seeing him grow well is incredibly reassuring—my hard work is paying off, and he’s as healthy as he can be!

How well a baby sleeps can totally make or break a parent’s mood, in my opinion. Katerina was such a good sleeper from the very beginning, so I honestly thought there was no way we’d get lucky again. To our surprise, except for the first week, he has been sleeping pretty well at night!
In the beginning, he hated the bassinet—literally the second we put him down, he would whine and cry. So, to get at least 3–4 hours of consecutive sleep, we took turns feeding and changing him. One of us would sleep in our room while the other stayed in the other room to feed him and watch him. Since he was only taking cat naps on the couch, we didn’t feel safe sleeping while he was napping there. The sofa isn’t the firm, flat surface doctors recommend, so we wanted to keep a close eye on him. Even though we were tired as hell, we avoided co-sleeping except for a few times when we accidentally fell asleep for about 30 minutes. After the first week, he finally got used to the bassinet and started sleeping in it. Once he stretched his sleep to about 4 hours at night, we didn’t need to do shifts as often, and we were both able to sleep during that block.

The first month of his life was a little chaotic, as you can imagine. He was born on August 4th, and we did a newborn photoshoot on 8/11 when he was just a week old. Then his big sister Katerina started preschool on 8/13, so we suddenly had school drop-offs and pick-ups added to our already crazy schedule. And of course, packing her lunch/snack and getting her ready for school takes time too. On 8/14, Maverik’s umbilical cord fell off, and at the 2-week mark he got his circumcision, which went well. So not only were we adjusting to a newborn, but we also had a 3-year-old starting school. It was pretty intense, and honestly my memory of the first two weeks is already a blur, haha. Erik went back to work after 3 weeks off, which added another layer of chaos, but at least he works remotely. I usually take all the feedings from 10 pm to 3 am, and Erik takes over after that since he wakes up around 4 am anyway. Then we get Katerina ready and leave the house by 8 am to take her to school. Right now, I’m pumping every 4–6 hours, so juggling the timing is also a lot.

I originally planned to breastfeed and pump as little as possible. I tried for the first 4 days, but I finally gave in and decided to exclusively pump. Here are some reasons why:

• I will know exactly how many ounces he is drinking due to bottle feed.
• I can sleep while someone else is feeding.
• I can pump anytime when I feel engorgement and need release.
• I can control amount of breastmilk production by deciding how often I pump.

I’d say the biggest factor was that I needed proper sleep to heal from my C-section. I was too exhausted to stay patient while working through Maverik’s latch issues. He wasn’t latching well and it caused a lot of pain. Yes, he’s a brand-new baby and it takes time to learn, but it was too much to deal with while recovering from surgery and already in pain.

He was also cluster feeding—sometimes nursing for an hour straight, then wanting more after just 15 minutes. Because he couldn’t latch efficiently and my milk was still coming in, he had to stay on for so long, and it was extremely taxing.

Once I started pumping and Erik and other family members could feed him, I felt such a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Feeding a baby is literally what keeps them alive and healthy, so having that entire responsibility on me while recovering felt overwhelming. Yes, I dreamed of those beautiful bonding moments, but honestly, the most important thing is keeping my mental health stable and his tummy full.
I’m glad Erik suggested switching to pumping and that I listened. The downside is the amount of stuff you have to wash and sanitize—bottles, pump parts—and buying storage bags for extra milk. But we’ve done this before with Katya, so it wasn’t that big of a deal.

He’s drinking 2–4 ounces per feed now, and a lot throughout the day! His last feeding of the night and first one in the morning can be 6 ounces, which is wild. I love that we can monitor his intake this way too.

At last, here are some milestones he hit in his first month (according to the CDC milestone app):

• Calms down when spoken to or picked up
• Looks at your face
• Makes sounds other than crying
• Moves both arms and both legs

My favorite is definitely the sounds he makes. With his wrinkly face and body, he reminds me of a little reptile making cute cooing noises. He melts my heart. From his tiny body parts to that sweet newborn smell, I feel truly blessed to call him my baby!

To Maverik,

Fatima